Taking Small Strides For Overnight Success

Taking small strides.We all want to make instant changes right? Maybe to transcend from debt to abundance, from being single to madly in love, from depressed to feeling happiness, from being over weight to a healthy shape.

I would love to say, ‘your wish is my command’

But success rarely happens over night.

The so called over night successes, from business owners who float there company to become multimillionaires over night, or the singer who gets goes on a TV show and gets a record deal in a brief short time. There is a finite process that happens, we may see the above examples transform in a short period of time, but we will not see the steps that lead to that transformation.

Take my two elder brothers for example.

Daniel (eldest brother), on the face of it, you see him being in an extremely high well paid powerful position, helping lead a multimillion pound company at a very young age in what some say a brief period of time (baring in mind like me, he did not go to University and did not do amazingly at college, I ‘think’ he even dropped out the first time around). What we might not see is the dedication and drive that propelled him upwards through the ranks. This guy is passionate about who is and what he does, he has worked beyond the call of duty, immersed himself in learning about leadership and developing himself.  He took decisive small steps on the inside that allowed him to progress out in the real world.

Luke (middle brother), is a magician and a bad ass one at that. He can tell me exactly what he is doing yet still fool me every time by his artistic and charismatic ways. I’ve seen him trick groups of people in the middle of the street (I’ll put a video of him doing it at the end of this post). On the face of it, you see his skill and precision captivating the crowd as if he was a born wizard. But what you do not see is that he’s been doing it for 18 months, but every day I see him practising between clients (he does therapy too), in the evenings, the weekend. In fact I can barely walk pass him without being shown a new trick he is learning.

Then take your writer here, on the surface you may see me being a little successful having had my work listened to over 700,000 times in two years and building up what I see as good reputation in my field at relatively young age at 28 and now being a Hay House Author.  What people will not always see is my huge bookshelf, the hundreds of audio programmes I’ve listened too. Most will not know I pretty much do everything myself in my business, the websites, the audio editing. I learnt how to do the basics of HTML (that was a long time ago when you needed to know code) to set up or modify my sites, I pushed through with dedication in learning, practising and working on my own personal issues such as self consciousness, public speaking phobia, blushing etc. I have put in 12-16 hour days more often than I care to remember. So on the surface we can be wowed but behind the curtains there has been specific consistent steps which allows progression.  And I do not say any of the above to impress or come across as ‘Look at all what I have achieved’. Sure I am damn proud of what I have achieved, I personally do not think that I think about my achievements enough due to wanting to improve on what I have achieved.

I love thinking ‘Bigger Picture’, but we must also remember that success is not always and rarely an overnight process. In fact it’s the small steps that count. The consistent small steps we take, the dedication in learning and growing as person, becoming passionate about life and making your ‘big picture’ goals a daily priority of consistent action with each small stem building momentum toward your desires.

So remember this, you have everything you need to achieve whatever you wish, and it’s the small steps that make the difference in the long time, the small steps become the progression and the success others see. It’s never beyond you, because you my friend are amazing, intelligent and capable. 

With love,

Joseph

1) Luke performing Magic to a Doorman

2)Luke performing magic to a pretty drunk young man.

What are you communicating to people?

Be conscious of your communication - its one of the most effective tools you have, this also includes our own self-talk. If your not getting the right feedback from people or your mind/body it's up to you to be conscious and refine your communication

In this blog, I will be giving you some super sharp tips in how you can communicate with others in a profound way that gets results. I like to think I’m pretty good at this, is what I do for a living and it’s my most powerful tool in helping people.

You see the meaning of your own communication is the response you are receiving from person you talking to.

We live in our own mind and our own world and sometimes we get lost in it, and that results in forgetting about other people’s experience.

We can also forget that our words are not just words alone.

I can say ‘I disagree with you’, ‘I understand you’ or ‘I’m listening to you’ and I can think that what I am saying (the words) is fair and true, but if my tonality is sharp or cutting it transforms those words to a whole new meaning. If my posture is distant or not engaging then the meaning of my words are different. We’ve all had an experience where someone has said something but their words are not matching their communication to you.

Words are never absent of tone. Even a receiver of an email/text you sent will read your words in a certain tone. How are you reading this blog? My tone, your tone, or someone else’s? What’s the quality of the tone? Is it lecturing, Angry, empowering, peaceful or something else? My intent can be one thing, but your interpretation of the words can be completely different.

So words are not the be all and end all of communication, in fact its only a small part of communication as our tonality and our physical experience toward someone can be the most important. And usually the tone and the physical expression are unconscious process we have picked up.

I also said previously that we can get lost in our own experience and that leads to the person feeling invalidated and disrespected. We can jump in, we can ask ‘How’s your day?’ and before the person can respond we go ‘Because this happened to me, and that happened…’ . It does not feel nice to be on the receiving hand of this.

I want to be clear in my words here, I’ll be blunt and to the point.

Communication with someone is not about you. Communication is a cooperative flow of energy And it should not be about you at first.  I’m not saying we should just listen and not speak our words, but the most joyful communication is you just being fully present and open to the person you are speaking to. To allow them space to feel comfortable and be acknowledged.

So my tiptop tips for you being a communicating wizard:

• Be Conscious – we must become conscious of what we are saying and how we are saying it. We can do this by having this as our intention before we speak to people. What do we want to say and how do we want to come across. Be conscious of your tone, and your physiology.

• Being a Validator  - When I speak to people on the phone, my seminars, my clients, by email, on Facebook etc I want people to know that my 100% attention is on them, that its not about me, its all about them. I want to say this with my eyes, my words, my tone and my expression. They are number 1. To me, a client is never a client, they are my friends, I even think this before I’ve ever met them. They are a friend that I have not discovered yet. So put your 100% attention on them before your own needs, allow them to feel validated and special, as they deserve to be.

• Listen – Be fully present, do not allow your mind to wonder or even butt in with your own opinion at first. Allow yourself to just take in the whole experience by being in the moment. Think: ‘What are they saying?’ What are they communicating?’ ‘What really being said beyond their words?’

This means we are no longer hearing, but we are listening to them deeply.

Allow yourself to be conscious, to be present and allow your attention to be on those you are communicating with.

With love,

Joseph